Last Updated: September 1, 2025

Welcome to The Witty Investor (“we,” “our,” or “us”). By accessing or using our website (thewittyinvestor.com), you agree to these Terms of Service. If you don’t agree, you’re welcome to close the tab, pour yourself a drink, and avoid all witty financial sarcasm in your life.

1. No Financial Advice (Seriously, Don’t Sue Us)

The content on this site is for educational and entertainment purposes only. We make jokes, we roast stocks, and occasionally we share insights that may or may not make sense. None of this is financial, legal, or tax advice. Consult a licensed professional before making investment decisions—or just ask your uncle who “knows a guy on Wall Street.”

2. Your Use of Our Site

  • You may browse, share, and enjoy our content.
  • You may not copy, redistribute, or pretend you wrote our sarcasm (we will find you).
  • Don’t use this site to break the law, hack the site, or spam us with NFT pitches.

3. Affiliate Links & Sponsored Content

Yes, sometimes we use affiliate links. That means if you buy something through our links, we might earn a small commission—enough to fund our caffeine habit or buy one extra dividend stock. Don’t worry, we only recommend products we believe in (or at least wouldn’t be ashamed to own).

4. No Guarantees

We can’t promise:

  • That you’ll get rich from reading this site.
  • That our site will always be bug-free.
  • That our stock jokes will always land.

We do promise:

  • To serve sarcasm in large, steady dividends.
  • To write content that is more fun to read than the IRS tax code.

5. Limitation of Liability

If your portfolio tanks after reading something here, that’s on you. We’re not liable for losses, gains, emotional breakdowns, or late-night trading sprees fueled by whiskey and Reddit threads.

6. Changes to These Terms

We reserve the right to update these Terms of Service whenever we want, usually after a cup of coffee and a poorly timed trade. Updates will be posted here with a new “Last Updated” date.

7. Contact Us

Got questions, comments, or a witty stock meme?
Reach out: adam@wittymediagroup.com