INVESTING IS HARD.
BEING BAD AT IT IS OPTIONAL
Practical investing advice for normal people. snark included. Profits preferred.
The 3 Articles Every Investor Should Read First
If you’re new here, start with these.
These guides cover the fundamentals of smarter investing without the Wall Street nonsense.
7 Stocks to Pretend You Found Before Everyone Else (August 2025 Edition)
Why You’re Totally Early to These 7 Stocks (Sure You Are) Ah yes, August—the magical month when Wall Street takes a collective nap, CNBC loops…
Pumping Profits or Refining Your Portfolio Into Dust? The Unvarnished Truth About Valero Stock
Pumping Profits or Refining Your Portfolio Into Dust? The Unvarnished Truth About Valero Stock Let’s talk about Valero stock (NYSE: VLO), shall we? Because nothing…
The Bunker Portfolio: How to Invest When the World Feels Fragile
A tactical, sarcastic guide for people who want their money to survive longer than the power grid. When the world feels like a Jenga tower…
Financial Wisdom (With a Side of Sarcasm)
Articles to help you invest smarter and panic less.
Why smart people still lose money in the stock market (and how to stop)
Why smart people still lose money in the stock market (and how to stop) Here’s a humbling thought: Albert Einstein, the man who revolutionized physics…
8 Best Dividend Stocks for March 2026: Expert Picks
Dividend stocks have always been the steady workhorses of income investing, and March 2026 is shaping up to be an interesting time for income seekers….
Timber Stocks: The “Boring” Investment That Might Just Save Your Portfolio From Ruin
Let’s be honest. If you’re at a cocktail party and you tell someone you invest in timber stocks, their eyes will glaze over faster than…
Raw Land Due Diligence: 7 Non-Negotiable Checks Before You Sign the Deed
Raw Land Due Diligence: 7 Non-Negotiable Checks Before You Sign the Deed (The Reality Check Edition) Imagine standing on a pristine plot of 40 acres,…
The Witty Investor’s 5 Rules for Avoiding Stupidity (Charlie Munger Style)
The Cult of Avoiding Stupidity If you pay attention to financial media, you’d be forgiven for believing that investing success requires precognition, complex algorithms, or…
Turkey-Brained Money Moves: The 7 Financial Mistakes Everyone Makes During the Holidays
(A brutally honest guide for anyone who thinks “But it was 40% off!” counts as financial literacy.) Every year, millions of people sit down for…
The Investor Who Bought the Top (And Why You Will Too)
Let’s talk about the rare, mystical, highly-endangered creature known as the investor who bought the top. Yes, the same guy who swore he’d “wait for…
Why Most People Suck at Money: The 7 Psychological Sins of Investing
(A brutally honest guide for anyone who’s ever panic-sold, FOMO-bought, or checked their portfolio 17 times during lunch.) Your brain is an incredible piece of…
The Bunker Portfolio: How to Invest When the World Feels Fragile
A tactical, sarcastic guide for people who want their money to survive longer than the power grid. When the world feels like a Jenga tower…
